I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
