He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
