it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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