the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
