I'm drive I can fine osifer
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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