just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
