Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
whose parrot is this?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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