didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
