People in love make me want to vomit
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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