You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
either way he was missing a nipple.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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