Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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