We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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