why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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