Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I bet he comes in French.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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