My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
