the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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