I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
