Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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