forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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