I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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