Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
