You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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