See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
