Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I am naked and annoyed.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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