New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
