I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
