Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
