yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
