i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My feet surprised me
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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