would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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