i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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