Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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