I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
