awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
