you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
