She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize
