Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
