i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
