lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
