You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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