I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
