Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My ass is underappreciated
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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