my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Randomize
