the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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