Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
