How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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