We're like a lot better than the average bears
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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