after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
