i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
