So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just pee around me
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
